Time for Change – Undoing what I had become

Thursday, September 19th, 2019

Written by Mindy Cowap in September 2019, who has enjoyed the Clean & Lean nutrition programme for 13 months.

This is a journey of not becoming someone else but undoing what I had become, understanding who I was supposed to be and working out how to get there with my beautiful children, an awesome husband and fabulous friends.  An awakening of the joys of life, love and even more laughter!

“Why are you boobs like jelly mummy?” said my 7 year old daughter as she witnessed the magnitude of their unveiling for the first time on holiday in 30 years! Boobs that had once been filled with youthfulness and then by ‘fatfulness’ were now on show, without inhibition! A time for celebration of those jelly boobs not for remorse at their emptiness! Hoorah it had only taken me 30 years to feel comfortable enough to go topless!!!???

“Tummy? oh can we call you tummy now or should we call you thinny?” said 7 year old Ella the other day, (who is obviously very good at unfiltered honesty). So despite my physique not being classically thin (just yet, or ever!) to my children the transition in the last 12 months has made them question my nickname.  Exciting, humbling times and fuzzy feelings of joy!  I think ‘tummy’ and ‘tumtum’ (that they both affectionately call me) are here to stay and to be honest it gives me a warm feeling for the unconditional love given despite my size and my own self deprivation because I was that size.

The children are sharing this voyage of discovery, of trying out new experiences and they love it. “Mummy go down the slide” shouts my 9 year old son as I try to untangle my legs and nerves, teetering at the top of the ladder on the pedalo slide! There was no way I’d have done that this time last year, but somehow unpeeling my fat suit has released a human being who is prepared to give anything a go despite her age and sensibilities! So off I went zooming down, with a sense of liberation and fear!   We’ve now wake-boarded together, jumped from the highest points on an aqua park, climbed a mountain, ran/walked 365 steep steps multiple times and completed workouts together in the last few months. The children are thriving and relishing the challenges for themselves or the challenges they are setting for mummy!

When Ewan said to me, whilst climbing those 365 steps in 30-degree heat, “mummy I want to be as strong and as fit as you are” my heart melted, I could not have wished for a bigger or better endorsement. My own son had found something aspirational in me!  It was hard to recognise what that could have been before as I drowned in weight anxiety.  Both of them ask more questions about food choices, checking that something is healthy and acknowledging the unhealthy consumption! Positive steps toward their own journeys into adolescence and beyond!  They know that Clean & Lean is ingrained in our lifestyle, home life and important to our business.

Every holiday for the last 10 years I have lugged around my camera and all its accessories on each trip, thrived on capturing all of their moments, spent hours editing the photos and then putting books together. This year I didn’t take my camera out once! I was too busy living the experiences instead of observing them! Not sure what’ll be in this year’s photo book but I know we’ve got awesome mental memories!

This journey of discovery, of experience and happiness has been unearthed by taking on board the best lifestyle change ever. I embraced Clean and Lean by Emma Wilson Fitness on 5th September 2018, I began Emma’s fitness classes by December 2018. I haven’t looked back; I am forever evolving physically, mentally and emotionally. It is so exciting, liberating and fabulous. Being a middle aged, peri-menopausal woman in control of her nutrition, health and fitness is the best thing EVER!  Don’t get me wrong I am human, I do have emotional days, but taking time to understand how to fuel properly to help manage hormones, stress and health has given 99% joy!

Find out more about Emma Wilson’s Clean & Lean nutrition programme by getting in touch with Emma.



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07971 596529


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